It’s important to listen when others speak. It’s also important to listen to ourselves.
Do you hold head conversations with yourself; especially in the morning before a word is spoken.? Was your head conversation positive or negative today? Begin each day on a positive note.
For a caregiver that’s not always possible. It’s hard to be positive or optimistic. Some days just won’t allow it. First, who is in charge of how we feel? We are. We make the choice to be positive, optimistic or negative. To being, start with small things so we’re better prepared for large issues later. Practice makes perfect, so always choose to be optimistic.
How to do that? If there’s no milk one morning, the choice becomes: be mad at yourself for not buying milk. Or, say, “‘What’s for breakfast that doesn’t need milk?” Then add, “While I’m out today, get milk.” Train yourself to find the high road.
A caregiver makes their own choices. The morning may begin well, yet the day gets frustrating. Self-doubt creeps in, ‘I can’t do it, someone else would do better.’ We naturally assume the worst. Instead, turn these thoughts into a self-confident attitude. What would be a small step? Take a deep breath, hold a few seconds then exhale. Now, how could you improve the situation? This small step will breed self-confidence. Don’t allow signs of frustration to take over, stomach pain, chest pain, overeating, self-doubt. This behavior only deepens anger and fear.
To help address these feelings try something new:
- Learn relaxation through deep breathing
- Start a journal; written or video. Keep entries short and positive; what can you do?
- At first keep steps small. Stay positive, it signals self-confidence.
Or read, You’re Not Listening, and why it matters, by Kate Murphy
Make it a positive day.
To accentuate the positive here are examples to sing or hum during the day: